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FAIR is a non-profit organization dedicated to providing well-documented answers to criticisms of the doctrine, practice, and history of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
LDS Family Services:
Homosexuality is defined as any kind of erotic thoughts, feelings, or behaviors towards persons of the same sex. Those who experience same-gender sexual thoughts or feelings often struggle to resist the temptation to act on such thoughts and feelings. It is important to recognize the difference between same-gender sexual feelings and behaviors.
Elder Dallin H. Oaks stated: “We should always distinguish between sinful acts and inappropriate feelings or potentially dangerous susceptibilities. We should reach out lovingly to those who are struggling to resist temptation. The First Presidency did this in their 14 November 1991 letter. After reaffirming the sinful nature of ‘fornication, adultery, and homosexual and lesbian behavior,’ the Presidency added:
“Individuals and their families desiring help with these matters should seek counsel from their bishop, branch president, stake or district president. We encourage Church leaders and members to reach out with love and understanding to those struggling with these issues. Many will respond to Christlike love and inspired counsel as they receive an invitation to come back and apply the atoning and healing power of the Savior. (See Isa. 53:4-5; Mosiah 4:2-3.)” (Ensign, Oct. 1995, 7 14). [1]
Some feel that the church's stance on same-sex relationships is harmful to people with same-sex attractions. They argue that a gay person's sexual orientation is innate and immutable, that it is unreasonable to ask them not to seek out homosexual relationships, and that repressing these attractions has a severe negative impact on a person's well-being. They teach that pursuing same-sex relationships is the only way for gay people to be well adjusted, and any teaching to the contrary is damaging to a gay person's well-being.
While it is true that most people have little or no choice over their sexual orientation[2], it is not true that one's sexual orientation dictates one's sexual behavior, nor one's sexual identity. These three areas are not as highly coordinated as one might think. Studies in the area show significant discrepancies between orientation, behavior and identity. The American Psychological Association clarifies: "Sexual orientation is different from sexual behavior because it refers to feelings and self-concept. Individuals may or may not express their sexual orientation in their behaviors."[3]
One of the most comprehensive studies in the United States was done by the Social Organization of Sexuality. They found that out of 131 women and 108 men in their survey who self-reported same-sex attraction, only 43 men (40%) and 42 women (32%) had a homosexual experience. [4]
The large discrepancies between sexual orientation, identity and behavior is one of the reasons why it is difficult to get accurate measures on people who deal with homosexuality. While the numbers vary from one study to the next, the numbers consistently show that there are significantly more people with same-sex attractions than those who have had a homosexual experience. That would indicate that the teachings of the church on same-sex relationships is consistent with the practices of a significant number of people with same-sex attractions.
In addition to the population that have never had a homosexual experience, there are also people who have stopped or will stop having homosexual relationships, some of whom have also reported that they have no current attraction to the same sex. The study indicated that of the 4.9% of men and 4.1% of women who have ever had a homosexual experience since the age of 18, only 2.7% of men and 1.3% of women had one in the last year. This means that most people who have participated have already stopped. From these, and other findings, the American Psychiatric Association concluded "some people believe that sexual orientation is innate and fixed; however, sexual orientation develops across a person’s lifetime". [5]
This might not follow the impression that most people have about gay people. Looking deeper into the survey might indicate why. The same survey found that 96% of women and 87% of men with a homosexual or bisexual identity have had sex with someone of the same sex. This indicates that the sexual behaviors of openly gay people are not reflective of the gay population at large. Because openly gay people are more open about their sexual orientation and behaviors, this has led many people to incorrectly believe that their sexual behaviors are reflective of the larger gay population. This misconception has lead many to believe that gay people either cannot or do not want to live a lifestyle that is consistent with the church's teaching. However, evidence indicates a sizable number already do or will sometime in the future.
Most of the people with same-sex attractions who have not had a homosexual experience also do not identity as gay. Critics argue that it is not healthy for homosexual people to reject a gay identity or suppress their homosexual attractions. They argue that the only way to be well-adjusted is to come out as a gay person. There is a significant movement to try to "out" people who reject a gay identity,[6] and there are massive protests at any organization that seeks to help people with same-sex attractions that do not accept the gay identity.[7]
Because of the massive opposition to people who want to reject a gay identity, a task force set up by the APA investigated the matter. They found that there is no clear harm in denying a gay identity. They found that for some people, a religious identity was stronger than their sexual identity, and instructed counselors not to preclude the goal of celibacy, but to help clients determine their own goals in therapy, and that together with support groups, the therapy can change a client's sexual orientation identity. Dr. Glassgold, the leader of the taskforce, summarized the findings by saying that there has been little research about the long-term effects of rejecting a gay identity, but there is "no clear evidence of harm" and "some people seem to be content with that path."[8]
Although there is no harm in denying a gay identity, the church does not require gay members to deny their sexual orientation. What is required is members follow the law of chastity. Elder Wickman teaches that sexual orientation is a core element of one's identity, but not the only one.[9] All members of the church have made a covenant to take upon themselves the name of Christ. For members of the Church, taking upon themselves the name of Christ supersedes all other identities, whether gay or straight.
Obviously there is a strong relationship between being gay and having same-sex relationships. There is also a strong relationship between being straight and having a child out of wedlock, which the church also teaches against. However, it is neither unreasonable nor unhealthy for a gay person to follow the church's law of chastity, just like it is neither unreasonable nor unhealthy for a straight person to follow it. Both homosexuality and heterosexuality are natural variations of human sexuality,[10] but in order to become a saint of the latter-days, one must put off the natural man, and submit to the enticings of the Holy Ghost. (Mosiah 3:18) Latter-day saints are asked to serve God, which precludes serving one's own sexual desires, be it gay or straight. It is a sacrifice for both gay and straight people to put off the natural man and serve God, but Joseph Smith teaches that a religion that does not require the sacrifice of all things cannot produce the faith necessary to achieve eternal life. The promise of the gospel is peace in this life and eternal life in the next, and that is the greatest gift that anyone can receive, whether they be gay or straight.
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