Utilisateur:InProgress/Same-sex attraction/Myths about the Church and homosexuality

Hafen

As Dr. Jeff Robinson said, [vii] you can’t hate your way out of your attraction.

label yourself as gay

But if you feel an attraction you didn’t seek and haven’t acted on, you have nothing to repent of. So how can you qualify for the Atonement’s power?

I classify same-gender attraction within the category of “adversity,” because typically you haven’t brought it upon yourselves.

However, we can tolerate or permit that behavior without also endorsing it — that is, promoting and encouraging that behavior, which we have historically done only when the behavior serves a significant public purpose.

And while same-gender attraction is not a sin, you need to resist cultivating immoral, lustful thoughts toward those of either gender

An LDS medical doctor who has worked closely with many people who deal with same-gender attraction recently said to me, “This is a truly difficult problem, but in its very difficulty is something that allows those who meet the challenge to become amazingly purified and sanctified and thus qualified for special comfort and revelation from the Savior, who knows how to succor ‘all’ men and women in their infirmities.” His words prompted a memory of Elder Maxwell’s insight: “If we are serious about our discipleship, Jesus will eventually request each of us to do those very things which are [the] most difficult to do.” The apostle Paul wrote, “All things work together for good to them that love God” (Romans 8:28). Even same-gender attraction can work for your good IF you love God.

Higher standard

Some critics argue that while both gay and straight members must obey the church's law of chastity, gay members are discriminated against because they are expected to live a higher standard. They argue that the teaching that gay people must control homosexual feelings is unrealistic. They argue that the law of chastity is discriminatory because straight members can find companionship and fulfillment through marriage, while gay members cannot because the church does not recognize same-sex marriages.

Opportunity for marriage

While same-sex attraction is most definitely an obstacle in creating a fulfilling marriage, it is not a barrier. To say that gay people cannot find fulfillment in marriage is extreme. One study indicated that 20% of gay men are currently married to a woman, some of whom find their marriages to be fulfilling.^[1][2] Fulfillment in marriage is not solely based on sexual attraction, and sexual attraction is not solely based on sexual orientation. While many gay people do not want to marry, others do develop a love for an opposite-sex partner and go on to have a fulfilling marriage. Sexual orientation is only small part in sexual attraction, and sexual attraction is only a small part in marital fulfillment.

Marriage may not be the appropriate course of action for everyone, and the Church has warned against entering into a marriage before one is ready. However, there are circumstances in which the church supports marriage for gay people. Elder Oaks explains:

"Persons who have cleansed themselves of any transgression and who have shown their ability to deal with these feelings or inclinations and put them in the background, and feel a great attraction for a daughter of God and therefore desire to enter marriage and have children and enjoy the blessings of eternity — that’s a situation when marriage would be appropriate."^[3]

Being single in a family-centered church

Critics argue that gay people who chose to be celibate can never really be accepted in a church which is so focused on the family. While some gay people may have a fulfilling marriage, there are many gay members of the church for whom marriage is not a realistic option. Elder Holland teaches "For various reasons, marriage and children are not immediately available to all. Perhaps no offer of marriage is forthcoming. Perhaps even after marriage there is an inability to have children. Or perhaps there is no present attraction to the opposite gender. Whatever the reason, God’s richest blessings will eventually be available to all of His children if they are clean and faithful."^[4]

It is true that having same-sex attractions presents an additional challenge for gay members to find fulfillment in a marriage which straight members do not have to deal with. However, gay people are not the only ones who have a challenge in forming a fulfilling marriage. Elder Oaks explains: "That's not a unique problem to homosexuals. One of the largest demographic problems we have in the Church are single women, divorced, never married, widowed. They've got the same problem. It is difficult for them and we're doing what we can to make singles feel more at home. But in the eternities the family relationship is the thing that we're most interested in. But we don't condemn the person who's single now. We say, work for that destiny." ^[5]

Critics also argue that being single is an additional burden for gay people who wish to remain faithful in the church. Elder Oaks responds "Every person who is single who has a sex drive and is not able to satisfy that outside the bonds of marriage with out being in transgression is carrying a burden. That burden is carried by homosexuals and it's carried by heterosexuals. It's a lesser burden for a person who does not have such a strong sex drive. But it's a burden in any event, and it's not unique to the homosexual." ^[6]

Celibacy is required for all single people, no matter what reason they give for not being able to get married. Both gay and straight people have been able to find joy and happiness in single life.

Controlling homosexual feelings

In a 2007 interview, Elder Oaks taught "Homosexual feelings are controllable. Perhaps there is an inclination or susceptibility to such feelings that is a reality for some and not a reality for others. But out of such susceptibilities come feelings, and feelings are controllable."^[7]

Critics of the church argue that teaching that members should control homosexual feelings goes beyond asking members to control their behavior. They argue that being gay means having homosexual feelings, and by not accepting homosexual feelings, the church in reality is not accepting gay people.

The church does not just ask members to control homosexual feelings, but all feelings, including heterosexual feelings. It is important not to misinterpret Elder Oaks. He is not saying that homosexual feelings are chosen, but that they must be controlled even if one did not chose to have them in the first place.^[8] The church teaches all member that they should "never do anything outside of marriage to arouse the powerful emotions that must be expressed only in marriage." This includes a commandment for all unmarried people to "control our thoughts" and "not participate in conversations or activities that arouse sexual feelings, such as passionate kissing, lying with or on top of another person, or touching the private, sacred parts of another person's body, with or without clothing."^[9] The commandment for unmarried people not to "arouse sexual feelings" applies equally to gay and straight people.

Elder Oaks said "Jesus taught that to look on a woman and lust after her is a sin. And everyone is encouraged to control their feelings, heterosexual or homosexual. That's part of the gospel of Jesus Christ. People who act out those feelings, whether they're homosexual or heterosexual, are in danger of Church discipline. The Church discourages them, calls them to repentance, works with them, counsels them and ultimately disciplines them if necessary." ^[10] Surely, it would be just as natural for a straight man to have heterosexual feelings for a woman as it is for a gay person to have homosexual feelings for someone of the same sex, but both have been commanded to learn to control their sexual feelings.

Homosexual problems

While discussing homosexuality on an interview with Larry King, President Hinckley said that "Well, we're not anti-gay. We are pro-family. Let me put it that way. And we love these people and try to work with them and help them. We know they have a problem. We want to help them solve that problem."^[11] Critics of the church argue that by saying that gay people have problems, the church places a stigma on them.

It is important to understand exactly what homosexual problems are. It is more than simply having a homosexual orientation. A 1992 publication by the Church gives the following definition of homosexual problems: "Homosexual problems include erotic thoughts, feelings, and behavior directed toward persons of the same sex."^[12] The Church teaches both gay and straight members to "never do anything outside of marriage to arouse the powerful emotions that must be expressed only in marriage".^[13] Gay people are not the only ones that have erotic thoughts, feelings, and behaviors outside of marriage. Elder Nelson explains that "Every person on this planet has personal challenges. Some have challenges with same-sex attraction, some have problems with opposite-gender attraction that have to be controlled."^[14]

In an interview about same-sex attraction, Elder Oaks responded to an interviewer's question about homosexuality: "Everyone has some challenges they have to struggle with. You’ve described a particular kind of challenge that is very vexing. It is common in our society and it has also become politicized. But it’s only one of a host of challenges men and women have to struggle with."

Like straight people, gay people also have problems, and depend upon the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ. That is the basis of the Church's belief, and there is no reason to suppose why it would be any different for gay people. The church does ask a lot of its gay members, but a lot is asked of straight members as well. The counsel of the church to gay members might seem harsh to those unfamiliar with the counsel given to the membership of the church in general. The follow chart compares some of the counsel given to gay members versus that given to the general membership of the church.

Inappropriate sexual advances

In October General Conference of 1976, Elder Packer gave a speech on morality in the priesthood session. In it, he talks about homosexuality and encourages young men to "vigorously resist" any males "who entice young men to join them in these immoral acts." He tells of a missionary who was concerned when he had "floored" his companion for making unwanted advances on him. He told the missionary, "Well, thanks. Somebody had to do it, and it wouldn't be well for a General Authority to solve the problem that way." He then recounts, "I am not recommending that course to you, but I am not omitting it. You must protect yourself." This was later published and distributed in a pamphlet called "To Young Men Only".^[15]

Dr. Quinn argues that by counting this story, Elder Packer is endorsing a form of gay-bashing, and that by republishing the story, the church itself endorses gay-bashing.^[16]

It is doubtful that Elder Packer was approving of gay bashing. He was probably condemning inappropriate sexual advances, regardless of the gender or sexual orientation of the perpetrator. Earlier he had taught: "Never let anyone handle you or touch those very personal parts of your body which are an essential link in the ongoing of creation."^[17] His language against gey people who make inappropriate sexual advances was no different than against straight people who likewise make inappropriate sexual advances. He is no more endorsing gay-bashing then straight-bashing. Later, in response to accusations that the church rejects gay people, he answered "We understand why some feel we reject them. That is not true. We do not reject you, only immoral behavior."^[18] By looking at these two quotes, it becomes apparent that Elder Packer does not reject gay people, but only rejects the behavior of making inappropriate sexual advances, regardless of the sexual orientation.

Old Intro

LGBT people are welcome in the church, and are affirmed as good people. The leaderships of the church has unanimously expressed love to gay people. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is not anti-gay but is infact an LGBT welcoming and affirming church. Most of the accusations of the church being anti-gay centers around a few misunderstandings:

1) You can't be affirming of LGBT Is being gay a sin?-affirming Does BYU allow gay students? - welcoming Are homosexuals an abomination? - affirming Do gay people need to be married in order to enter into heaven? - affirming Does the Church support aversion therapy? - afirming Doesn't the church's teachings on same-sex relationships interfer with its teachings on agency? Causes of Homosexuality

There was a Georgia Tech gay rights manual that referred to the church as anti-gay. However, a judge ordered that the material be removed because there was no basis for the accusation.(http://www.wrcbtv.com/Global/story.asp?S=8258001 Judge rules Georgia Tech gay rights manual biased". Associated Press. May 1, 200) President Hinckley told Larry King in an interview that the church was not anti-gay.

Isn't the church anti-gay if it teaches against same-sex relationship?

The mission of the church is to bring all people to Christ. We believe that this is one of the fundamental ways in which we can serve our fellow man. We believe we can come closer to Christ by taking upon us his name through the covenant of baptism, which includes a covenant to obey his commandments. Christ taught against fornication and adultery, and we believe that includes all sexual relationships outside of a marriage between a man and a woman. Teaching and encouraging our fellow man to obey the teachings of Christ is an important part in bringing them to Christ. Elder Packer explains:

"We understand why some feel we reject them. That is not true. We do not reject you, only immoral behavior. We cannot reject you, for you are the sons and daughters of God. We will not reject you, because we love you. You may even feel that we do not love you. That also is not true. Parents know, and one day you will know, that there are times when parents and we who lead the Church must extend tough love when failing to teach and to warn and to discipline is to destroy." ^[19]

Many people have a hard distinguishing between sexual orientation and sexual activity. They often think a reject of homosexual practices is a rejection of people with a homosexual orientation.

Many people unfamiliar with homosexuality will often lump people with same-sex attractions, people who have sexual relations with people of the same gender, and people

Not all gay people want to pursue same-sex relationships. The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States

According to some book, only a small percentage of people with same-sex attractions have participated in homosexual behavior.^[20] There are also several accounts of those who had participated in homosexual behavior who have since abandoned the practice or are seeking to. One survey indicated that 20% of gay men and 40% of lesbians are married to someone of the opposite sex. This puts estimates at some number. According to this one study, this segment of the population is often overlooked. While these people may not be as vocal as the other segments of the gay and lesbian population, it is an important segment and their views should not be discounted.

Is the Church anti-gay?

President Hinckley said the Church wasn't anti-gay, but pro-family.^[21] The Church has spoken out against gay-bashing or any type of hostility towards gay people. Elder Oaks reminded members that people who are attracted to the same gender are in "special need of the love and encouragement that is a clear responsibility of Church members".^[22] Many gay members of the Church have expressed their gratitude for the Church's stance on homosexuality.

Newline.

A Georgia Tech manual labeled the Mormon Church as anti-gay, but a complaint was made, and a judge sided with the students and mandated that the reference to the Mormon church being anti-gay be removed.

This may or may not relate to their actual sexual orientation. In a 1990 study by the Social Organization of Sexuality, only 16% of women and 36% of men who reported some level of same-sex attraction had a homosexual or bisexual identity. The same survey found that 96% of women and 87% of men with a homosexual or bisexual identity had participated in sex with someone of the same sex, as contrasted to 32% of women and 43% of men who had same-sex attractions. According to a 1990 study of The Social Organization of Sexuality, out of 131 women and 108 men who self-reported same-sex attraction, only 43 men (40%) and 42 women (32%) had participated in gay sex. ^[23]

Given recent prevalence estimates most pastoral caregivers and counselors will work with persons who experience same-sex attraction (SSA). Many of the people who experience SSA will report such a consistency in the directionality and intensity of their attractions that they think of themselves as having a homosexual orientation. Others will integrate their experiences of SSA into a gay identity. What can facilitate pastoral care and counseling is an intentional use of this three-tier distinction: experiences of SSA, homosexual orientation, and gay identity. A discussion of this three-tier distinction is followed by specific suggestions for utilizing this conceptual framework as a resource in pastoral care and counseling.^[24]

When homosexual attraction, homosexual identity, and same-sex sexual behavior were entered to predict suicide attempt, only same-sex sexual behavior was significantly predictive.^[25]

Is being gay a sin?

No. Elder Oaks taught "It’s no sin to have inclinations that if yielded to would produce behavior that would be a transgression. The sin is in yielding to temptation. Temptation is not unique. Even the Savior was tempted." ^[26] The pamphlet "God Loveth His Children" encourages gay members to neither blame themselves nor their parents for their attractions.^[27]

Does BYU allow gay students?

Yes. Sexual orientation was never an honor code issue, but in 2008 the honor code was revised to specifically state "Sexual orientation is not an honor code issue." Outside groups, including Soulforce, have criticized BYU's policy against same-sex relationships, but gay students who go to BYU have spoken in favor of BYU's honor code.

Are homosexuals an abomination?

The previous version of the For the Strength of the Youth pamphlet included the phrase "Homosexuality is an abomination". At the time of publication, homosexuality referred to sexual relations between people of the same gender. Now homosexuality is considered a sexual orientation, which may not be related to a person's sexual practices. The Church considers all sexual relationships except those between a husband and a wife as an abomination. (Alma 39:5) The abomination is the sexual act, not the person committing it. In his book, Miracle of Forgiveness, Elder Kimball said he believes many homosexuals are "basically good people who have become trapped in sin," referring to those who were having same-sex relationships.^[28]

Do gay people need to be married in order to enter into heaven?

No. Elder Holland taught "For various reasons, marriage and children are not immediately available to all... Perhaps there is no present attraction to the opposite gender. Whatever the reason, God’s richest blessings will eventually be available to all of His children if they are clean and faithful."^[29]

In 1987, President Hinckley taught "Marriage should not be viewed as a therapeutic step to solve problems such as homosexual inclinations or practices."^[30] In 1992, the Church came out with more elaborate instructions. "Marriage should not be viewed as a way to resolve homosexual problems. The lives of others should not be damaged by entering a marriage where such concerns exist. Encouraging members to cultivate heterosexual feelings as a way to resolve homosexual problems generally leads them to frustration and discouragement. However, some people have reported that once they are freed from homosexual problems, heterosexual feelings have gradually emerged."^[31]

Again in 2007, Elder Oaks commented on President Hinckley's 1987 statement: "To me that means that we are not going to stand still to put at risk daughters of God who would enter into such marriages under false pretenses or under a cloud unknown to them. Persons who have this kind of challenge that they cannot control could not enter marriage in good faith. On the other hand, persons who have cleansed themselves of any transgression and who have shown their ability to deal with these feelings or inclinations and put them in the background, and feel a great attraction for a daughter of God and therefore desire to enter marriage and have children and enjoy the blessings of eternity - that’s a situation when marriage would be appropriate."^[32]

While there is no requirement nor encouragement for gay people to marry, there is no restriction either. Elder Holland notes "Some may overcome same-gender attraction in mortality and marry. Others, however, may never be free of same-gender attraction in this life."^[33] Many members with same-sex attraction are faithfully married, and have reported happiness and fulfillment in these marriages.

Does the Church support aversion therapy?

Elder Oaks answered this question in a 2007 interview. He said:

"The Church rarely takes a position on which treatment techniques are appropriate, for medical doctors or for psychiatrists or psychologists and so on.

The second point is that there are abusive practices that have been used in connection with various mental attitudes or feelings. Over-medication in respect to depression is an example that comes to mind. The aversive therapies that have been used in connection with same-sex attraction have contained some serious abuses that have been recognized over time within the professions. While we have no position about what the medical doctors do (except in very, very rare cases - abortion would be such an example), we are conscious that there are abuses and we don’t accept responsibility for those abuses. Even though they are addressed at helping people we would like to see helped, we can’t endorse every kind of technique that’s been used."^[34]

There were experiments done on aversion therapy at Brigham Young University by McBride in the 1970s.^[35] Although Brigham Young University is owned by the Church, it is still given a great degree of autonomy, and graduate students typically do not seek for church approval before conducting research projects. At the time, homosexuality was considered a mental disorder, and aversion therapy was a standard tool used in the medical profession to treat homosexuality.

Endnotes

1. [retour] American Psychiatric Association 2000
2. [retour] American Psychological Association Help Center Sexual Orientation and Homosexuality
3. [retour] Appropriate Therapeutic Responses to Sexual Orientation
4. [retour] Beckstead, A. Lee , "Mormon Clients’ Experiences of Conversion Therapy", The Counseling Psychologist 651–690
5. [retour]  The Honor Code and Applications: Live a Chaste and Virtuous Life , Provo, Utah: Brigham Young University off-site .
6. [retour]  Aversion Therapy glptq.com off-site
7. [retour]  Evergreen International Resources for Individuals
8. [retour] AP, The New York Times & Washington Post Style
9. [retour]  Hegna K, Larsen CJ. Straightening out the queer? Same-sex experience and attraction among young people in Norway.
10. [retour] Hinckley, Gordon B., (1987), Reverence and Morality off-site
11. [retour]  1998 What Are People Asking about Us? Gordon B. Hinckley, Official Site of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Retrieved on September 28, 2007.
12. [retour] Hinckley, Gordon B. (Nov 1999). Why We Do Some of the Things We Do. Ensign.
13. [retour]  (2004), First Presidency Statement on Same-Gender Marriage , Salt Lake City, Utah: LDS Church off-site
14. [retour]  (2004), A Conversation with Gordon B. Hinckley, President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints off-site
15. [retour] Holland, Jeffrey R., (2007), Helping Those Who Struggle with Same-Gender Attraction off-site
16. [retour] Jarvik, Elaine, (2006), LDS to push marriage amendment off-site
17. [retour] Kimball, Spencer W., (1964), A Counselling Problem in the Church (transcript) off-site
18. [retour] Kimball, Spencer W., (1964), BYU Speeches of the Year off-site
19. [retour] Kimball, Spencer W., (1969), The Miracle of Forgiveness Bookcraft
20. [retour] Spencer W. Kimball and Mark E. Petersen Hope for Transgressors 1970.
21. [retour] Kimball, Spencer W., (1971), New Horizons for Homosexuals LDS Church off-site .
22. [retour] Spencer W. Kimball, “President Kimball Speaks Out on Morality,” Ensign, Nov 1980, 94
23. [retour]  (1970), Hope for Transgressors LDS Church off-site .
24. [retour]  (1992), Understanding and Helping Those Who Have Homosexual Problems: Suggestions for Ecclesiastical Leaders , Salt Lake City, Utah: LDS Church off-site .
25. [retour]  (1995), The Family: A Proclamation to the World , Salt Lake City, Utah: LDS Church .
26. [retour]  (1998), Church Handbook of Instructions , Salt Lake City, Utah: LDS Church .
27. [retour] God Loveth His Children, off-site
28. [retour]  Sexual Purity, For the Strength of Youth: Fulfilling Our Duty to God, 26
29. [retour] "First Presidency Statement on Same-Gender Marriage," 19 October 2004)
30. [retour]  (2007), Gospel Library Gospel Topics , Salt Lake City, Utah: LDS Church .
31. [retour]  (2007), Gospel Library Gospel Topics , Salt Lake City, Utah: LDS Church .
32. [retour] Laumann, Edward O. , The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States {{{pages}}}
33. [retour] The Divine Institution of Marriage
34. [retour] Lattin, Don, (1997), Musings of the Main Mormon: Gordon B. Hinckley, "president, prophet, seer and revelator: of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, sits at the top of one of the world's fastest-growing religions off-site
35. [retour]  (2004), In Quiet Desperation: Understanding the Challenge of Same-gender Attraction Deseret Book off-site .
36. [retour] McBride, Max Ford, (1976), Effect of Visual Stimuli in Electric Aversion Therapy (Dissertation presented to the Department of Psychology of Brigham Young University) , Brigham Young University, Provo, Utah:
37. [retour] Modèle:Cite news
38. [retour] Moore, Carrie A., Gay LDS men detail challenges off-site
39. [retour]  In Focus: Mormonism in Modern America off-site Every person on this planet has personal challenges. Some have challenges with same-sex attraction, some have problems with opposite-gender attraction that have to be controlled.
40. [retour]  1995 Dallin H. Oaks Statement, Official Site of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
41. [retour] Wickman, Lance B., (2007), Same-Gender Attraction , Salt Lake City, Utah: LDS Church off-site
42. [retour]  Packer Ye Are the Temple of God
43. [retour] Packer, Boyd K., (1972), The Message: Why Stay Morally Clean LDS Church off-site .
44. [retour] Packer, Boyd K., (1976), To Young Men Only: General Conference Priesthood Session, October 2, 1976 LDS Church off-site .
45. [retour] Packer, Boyd K., (1978), To the One: Address given to the Twelve Stake Fireside, Brigham Young University, March 5, 1978 LDS Church off-site .
46. [retour] Park, Jason, (1997), Resolving Homosexual Problems: A Guide for LDS Men Century Publishing off-site .
47. [retour] D. Michael Quinn, "Prelude to the National 'Defense of Marriage' Campaign: Civil Discrimination Against Feared or Despised Minorities", Dialogue: A Journal of Mormon Thought, 33:3, p. 1-52 (2001)
48. [retour] Scott, Richard G., The Atonement Can Secure Your Peace and Happiness off-site .
49. [retour] STEPHANIE SIMON A New Therapy on Faith and Sexual Identity : Psychological Association Revises Treatment Guidelines to Allow Counselors to Help Clients Reject Their Same-Sex Attractions
50. [retour] Throckmorton, Warren , "Initial empirical and clinical findings concerning the change process for ex-gays", Professional Psychology: Research and Practice 242–248
51. [retour] Snow, Lorenzo, {{{title}}} .
52. [retour]  Savin-Williams RC, Ream GL. Prevalence and stability of sexual orientation components during adolescence and young adulthood.
53. [retour] p. 156, Seligman, Martin E.P., What You Can Change and What You Can't: The Complete Guide to Self Improvement Knopf, 1993; ISBN 0-679-41024-4
54. [retour] Modèle:Cite news
55. [retour] Modèle:Cite news
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57. [retour] A Place in the Kingdom: Spiritual Insights from Latter-day Saints about Same-Sex Attraction.
58. [retour] Wichstrøm L, Hegna K. Sexual orientation and suicide attempt: a longitudinal study of the general Norwegian adolescent population.
59. [retour]  Yarhouse MA. Same-sex attraction, homosexual orientation, and gay identity: a three-tier distinction for counseling and pastoral care