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We are now able to examine the story told by Elder Packer. | We are now able to examine the story told by Elder Packer. | ||
− | + | * They story is ''not'' about people with same-sex attraction, but about people who are trying to have sex with you. Elder Packer talked about "physical mischief with another man", "men who entice young men to join them in these immoral acts", and "If you are ever approached to participate in anything like that". Elder Packer has long made a distinction between sexual acts and sexual attraction. He has repeatedly said sexual attraction is not a sin and those with same-sex attraction "need feel no guilt".[http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2000/10/ye-are-the-temple-of-god] Even the responses only make sense in the context of an act: "it is time to vigorously resist" and "You must protect yourself". How do you vigorously resist someone else having same-sex attraction? This story is about a missionary who wanted an unwilling companion in a compromised position to join him in homosexual activity, not about a companion who simply confessed that he was gay. To be fair, we do not know the degree in which the companion was trying to get him to participate in immoral acts, but at the least it was sexual harassment and at the most it was attempted rape. Either extreme warrants self-defense. | |
+ | * The missionary was in a compromised position. As detailed above, he was supposed to stay in close quarters with his companion. He could not simply say "No thanks, I don't want to have sex with you" and walk away. He lived with the person sexually harassing him. There is no indication from the story how long the sexual harassment was going on for. | ||
* The story is ''not'' about LDS people going out and beating up on gay people. Elder Packer is also clear that he does not "recommend" the physical attack which the missionary launched on his companion--it is not an ideal response. But, he does not "omit it" if necessary to "protect yourself." Thus, it is clear that the missionary did what he did to ''defend'' himself against a sexual advance. This was not a matter of the companion saying, "By the way, I'm gay, I hope you can love and accept me anyway." He was attempting to persuade his companion into a homosexual act [remember, Elder Packer began the story by saying "physical mischief with another man" is forbidden, "some men...entice young men '''to join them''' in these immoral acts," and one must "vigorously resist" such attempts], and so his victim protected himself. | * The story is ''not'' about LDS people going out and beating up on gay people. Elder Packer is also clear that he does not "recommend" the physical attack which the missionary launched on his companion--it is not an ideal response. But, he does not "omit it" if necessary to "protect yourself." Thus, it is clear that the missionary did what he did to ''defend'' himself against a sexual advance. This was not a matter of the companion saying, "By the way, I'm gay, I hope you can love and accept me anyway." He was attempting to persuade his companion into a homosexual act [remember, Elder Packer began the story by saying "physical mischief with another man" is forbidden, "some men...entice young men '''to join them''' in these immoral acts," and one must "vigorously resist" such attempts], and so his victim protected himself. | ||
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Critics claim that Elder Boyd K. Packer's talk "To Young Men Only" encourages "gay bashing" or physical assaults on gay people.
To see citations to the critical sources for these claims, [[../CriticalSources|click here]]
====
Critics who make this claim are either ignorant of the contents of then-Elder Packer's talk, or are deliberately misrepresenting it for polemical gain.
This article will do four things:
Elder Packer said:
Males in the Church serve full-time missions for two years. During this time, they are expected to dedicate themselves to full-time service of the Lord, His Kingdom, and people in and out of the Church. LDS missionaries are forbidden from dating or engaging in any romantic activities during this period of time. Furthermore, each missionary is assigned a "companion"--this is another missionary with whom the young man lives and works.
Missionaries are forbidden to go anywhere without their companion. Companions live in the same apartment, sleep in the same room, and go everywhere together. When out of the apartment, missionaries are taught that they are never to be alone or unaccompanied by their companion (save for trips to the bathroom and the like). Keeping missionaries together in this way serves at least two purposes:
A missionary who intentionally leaves his companion may be in serious trouble, and could be sent home from his mission.
All members of the Church are expected to observe the law of chastity. This means that no sexual activity outside of marriage is permitted. Furthermore, missionaries attend the LDS temple prior to going on their missions, where they reaffirm this commitment.[2] As noted above, missionaries further promise to not even engage in dating or other romantic activity while in full-time Church service.
We are now able to examine the story told by Elder Packer.
The European Union notes that harassment is:
There is absolutely no context in LDS mission life where any sort of romantic attachment or engagement would be appropriate--with a companion or someone else, of the same gender or someone else. Thus, any sexual advance is unwelcome and utterly inappropriate. By definition, such behavior must be sexual harassment at a minimum, and might be sexual assault depending upon the details.
This is made worse when the offender is a companion, someone who has promised to protect and look out for the spiritual and physical well-being of the companion.
In short, it is absurd to characterize Elder Packer's story as advocacy of "gay beating" or violence against homosexuals simply because of their desires or inclinations, or their decision to have consensual sex with others. Instead, it is a sad but realistic admission that at times even violence may be necessary, as a last resort, to protect chastity.
The bias against men in the critics' version of this story is disappointing. The matter is perhaps easier to understand if we change the roles a bit. How would we react if an LDS young woman was on a mission, and told that she must spend every minute of the day with an LDS man? They must travel together, sleep in the same room, live together in what are generally cramped quarters. Now, let us imagine that the man propositions the young woman, and urges her to violate the law of chastity--would we think her out of line if she struck him?
Sexual harassment is unacceptable, regardless of whether men or women are the target. It does not matter if the harasser is homosexual or heterosexual--such behavior is everywhere and always wrong.
Anyone who has experienced sexual harassment can attest that it is an extremely frightening and oppressive experience. It is understandable that faced with such a situation--especially one which the missionary probably have never dreamed he would encounter from another male, much less his missionary companion--that the reaction would be terror and a panicked decision to do whatever it took to make sure he was safe.
No critic would dare say anything if an LDS sister missionary defended herself against the sexual suggestions, advances, or aggression of a male LDS missionary, because such a charge's bigotry against the victim is too blatant. But, as soon as the victim is a male and the aggressor a homosexual, suddenly the aggressor becomes the victim. This double standard would not exist if the gender roles were altered. This suggests that the critics are not trying to look at the situation fairly, but are simply trying to score points against the Church.
Some believe that since the missionary was a male, he could not have been a victim of sexual abuse. They argue that men only have sex when they want to and this missionary was in no real danger from his companion. This is not the case. Studies estimate that one in 6 men have experienced sexual abuse.[6] All forms of sexual abuse, including sexual harassment, can have a lasting negative impact on the victims, even males. The web site Male Survivor says this about the effects of sexual abuse:
Critics who insist that the Elder should not have protected himself against the sexual advances of his companion not only do a disservice to this Elder, but to the millions of men who have experienced sexual abuse. It is important that even men know that they are not at fault if they are victims of sexual abuse and it is okay to vigorously resist unwelcomed sexual advances. Elder Packer's advice to vigorously resist unwelcomed sexual advances, even if you are male, is important in reversing the society's apathy towards male victims of sexual assault.
== The Church does not teach that violence is the best response to problems. However, everyone is entitled to protect themselves (or others) against sexual harassment or sexual assault by any means necessary--including violence. This applies to all: men and women, gay and straight. As Wikipedia notes, often the victim is blamed for the harasser's acts:
In this case, it is Elder Packer and all Mormons who come in for criticism and attack because the sexual harassment is that is declared unacceptable comes from a homosexual.
== Notes ==
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