![FairMormon Logo](https://www.fairlatterdaysaints.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/2021_fair_logo_primary.png)
FAIR is a non-profit organization dedicated to providing well-documented answers to criticisms of the doctrine, practice, and history of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
m |
|||
(One intermediate revision by the same user not shown) | |||
Line 1: | Line 1: | ||
− | {{ | + | {{Main Page}} |
<onlyinclude> | <onlyinclude> | ||
{{H2 | {{H2 | ||
Line 24: | Line 24: | ||
</onlyinclude> | </onlyinclude> | ||
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | {{Critical sources box:Mormonism and culture/Church over family/CriticalSources}} | ||
{{endnotes sources}} | {{endnotes sources}} | ||
<!--PLEASE DO NOT REMOVE ANYTHING BELOW THIS LINE --> | <!--PLEASE DO NOT REMOVE ANYTHING BELOW THIS LINE --> | ||
[[es:El Mormonismo y la cultura/Prioridades culturales]] | [[es:El Mormonismo y la cultura/Prioridades culturales]] |
Jump to details:
Why does Salt Lake City have so many plastic surgeons? While New York City has 4 plastic surgeons per 100,000 people, Salt Lake City has 6 plastic surgeons per 100,000 people.[1] It is claimed that these statistics imply that Mormon's have a vanity problem.
Obtaining plastic surgery can be done for both good and bad reasons. It is an oversimplification to associate plastic surgery with vanity.
Forbes, the publisher of the article entitled "America's Vainest Cities", explained one reason why some cities have such a high number of plastic surgeons:
"Unexpected entries like Salt Lake City, Nashville and Louisville might rise to the top, given smaller populations and medical or university programs and centers that focus on plastic surgery. An influx of younger, more affluent residents into the smaller cities may also account for the rising number of plastic surgeons."[2]
The University of Utah has a very successful medical program, which may contribute to the large number of plastic surgeons in SLC.[3]
It is also interesting to note that plastic surgery costs a lot less in Utah than it does in the surrounding states. It's possible that the prices have been driven down due to a lack of business in the state.
It needs to be pointed out that there is no official LDS stance on plastic surgery. Ultimately, this is a decision that is left up to the individual.
Statistical claims regarding Utah cannot necessarily be applied to Mormons in general. Utah is only a little over 60% Mormon.[4]
Merriam-Webster defines vanity as "The quality of people who have too much pride in their own appearance, abilities, achievements, etc."[5] If plastic surgery is used for prideful reasons, or for the purpose of elevating oneself above others, than this is a vain use of the surgery. On the flip side, plastic surgery could be a legitimate way of taking care of ones body.
A KSL article that interviewed Dr. Brian Brzowski, a non-LDS plastic surgeon that practices in Ogden, Utah, provides some interesting insight into Mormon culture and plastic surgery:
“The people here aren’t doing it for vanity; they’re doing it in their minds to restore things, almost to the extent that it’s kind of a type of reconstructive procedure,” Brzowski said.
Brzowski noted that the “strong community that’s definitely a hallmark of Utah, the (LDS) Church, plays a role” in the numbers of procedures being done here. “Patients who have a positive experience with plastic surgery, with such a good community, they share and spread that information. You learn from your neighbor, 'Oh, my gosh, this problem I had was taken care of; it works.' The word spreads faster than a lot of other spots.”
“I think it fits in with the (culture’s idea of) taking care of yourself,” Brzowski said. “That to me is absolutely the answer and the explanation for why such a devout group of people here are so accepting of plastic surgery. They’re doing it for appropriate reasons, not for some vulgar type of motivation.[6]"'
Of course, even getting plastic surgery for the reasons that Dr. Brzowski points out can be taken to the extreme. Individuals should exercise wisdom and self-control when considering plastic surgery.
Critics charge that the Church teaches them to put service in the Church (e.g. in Church callings) over the needs of their families.
Church leaders teach that the family should be placed at the center of one's life. Service in the family is a vital part of service in the Church and, when managed properly, Church service improves family relations. In cases of conflict, Church service needs to be delegated or simplified so family needs can take precedence.
Church leaders teach that family duties and relationships are paramount. However, there are instances when those who hold positions in the Church lose sight of this and require correction. Late Church President, Harold B. Lee, warned:
We have had shocking examples of Church leaders in some stakes and wards who have seemingly used their business and Church assignments as excuses for neglecting their families. In one case I heard a wife say, "Because he was so much away in his business and his Church responsibilities, I was just little more than a hired woman in his house." I have frequently counseled, and I repeat it to you again, to all of you here: "The most important of the Lord's work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own homes." We must never forget that.[7]
Speaking to men called to demanding positions as Bishops in the Church, late Church President Gordon B. Hinckley said:
I know that the work is hard at times. There are never enough hours to get it done. The calls are numerous and frequent. You have other things to do. That is true. You must not rob your employer of the time and energy that are rightfully his. You must not rob your family of time which belongs to them. But as most of you have come to know, as you seek for divine guidance, you are blessed with wisdom beyond your own and strength and capacity you did not know you had. It is possible to budget your time so that you neglect neither your employer, your family, nor your flock… We do not expect the impossible from you. We ask that you do the very best you can. Delegate to others every aspect of the work that you legitimately can. And then leave matters in the hands of the Lord.(emphasis added)[8]
Note that family is emphatically not to be neglected or “impoverished,” and that one is not expected to do more than is healthy for the family.
Church leaders have consistently taught that family duties are the primary Church duties. To neglect one's family needs is to fail in the most important Church responsibility:
Local Church leaders are instructed to avoid conflicts between Church and family responsibilities by spreading duties throughout their congregations and showing sensitivity when making assignments and callings. As member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostle, Quentin L. Cook, explained:
…it is intended that bishops, sensitive to existing demands, will delegate more responsibilities. Members need to recognize that the bishop has been instructed to delegate. Members need to sustain and support him as he follows this counsel. This will allow the bishop to spend more time with the youth, young single adults, and his own family. He will delegate other important responsibilities to priesthood leaders, presidents of auxiliaries, and individual men and women. In the Church the role of women in the home is highly respected. When the mother receives a Church calling that requires significant time, the father will often be given a less-demanding calling in order to maintain balance in the lives of the family.[14]
In recent years, Church leaders have spoken of the need to “simplify” Church programs so they don’t detract from family life. In the words of Quorum of the Twelve Apostles member, M. Russell Ballard:
Occasionally we find some who become so energetic in their Church service that their lives become unbalanced…They complicate their service with needless frills and embellishments that occupy too much time, cost too much money, and sap too much energy… The instruction to magnify our callings is not a command to embellish and complicate them. To innovate does not necessarily mean to expand; very often it means to simplify… The key, it seems to me, is to know and understand your own capabilities and limitations and then to pace yourself, allocating and prioritizing your time, your attention, and your resources to wisely help others, including your family, in their quest for eternal life.[15]
Despite the ongoing counsel of Church leaders to keep duties simple, there are times when Church work does require members – particularly men – to spend time away from their families. This is acknowledged by Church leadership. Member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, Dallin H. Oaks, has said:
…the amount of time donated by our members to train and minister to one another is uniquely large...I see you performing your Church callings, often at great sacrifice of time and means...[16]
Oaks went on to mention a study on prosocial behavior in the Church. He reported that:
All of this is affirmed in a nationwide study which concluded that active members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints “volunteer and donate significantly more than the average American and are even more generous in time and money than the upper [20 percent] of religious people in America.”[16]
If properly managed, the benefits families receive from such sacrifices can outweigh the costs. It’s part of the paradox Jesus himself expressed when he said, “For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.” (Matthew 16:24-25)
When we speak of consecration in the LDS context, the first type of dedication that usually comes to mind is the dedication of money, specifically in the form of paying tithing. However, in a very real way, to spend time and energy fulfilling Church duties is also to make an offering. Unlike offerings of money, LDS people do not keep records of time spent in Church duties. We’re not called to account for the number of hours we spend annually in Church service. Unlike tithing, no specific proportion of our time is expected of us.
The proportion of time spent in Church duties changes as callings and responsibilities change. At some times, personal Church duties may be light. At other times – such as during full-time missions—they are demanding. Whatever their size, they are never insignificant. Simply attending the weekly three hour block of Sunday meetings puts LDS people inside their church buildings longer than many other kinds of faithful churchgoers.
The prophet Malachi spoke of offerings in the Old Testament. He famously rebuked the people of his day for failing to pay tithes but he also spoke of the people’s withholding of their service from the Lord. Malachi said:
Ye have said, It is vain to serve God: and what profit is it that we have kept his ordinances?...Then they that feared the LORD spake often one to another: and the LORD hearkened…And they shall be mine, saith the LORD of hosts, in that day when I make up my jewels; and I will spare them, as a man spareth his own son that serveth him. (Malachi 3:14-17)
In the same sermon and in the same spirit as Malachi taught Israel about the blessings of paying tithing and the perils of failing to pay it, he taught about the blessings of taking time to serve the Lord. Many LDS people can testify that their household budgets go farther when tithing is paid.[17] It might not make sense mathematically but somehow the difference is made up and, as Malachi said, the Lord “open[s] the windows of heaven, and pour[s] out a blessing that there shall not be room enough to receive it.” Malachi 3:10.
Many members can also testify that even when a family member has a time-consuming Church calling, families are blessed with increased capacities to show each other attention and affection.
Living comfortably and securely despite sacrificing family funds to tithing is a miracle of keeping the law of consecration by paying tithing. Living in greater love and harmony while a family member serves in a demanding Church calling is a miracle of keeping the law of consecration by spending time in Church duties.
The most common "recipe" that is given children in teaching them to pray in our church consists of 4 parts:
These parts are illustrated in "I Pray In Faith," from Children's Songbook, the Church's hymnal for children aged 3-11:
1. I kneel to pray ev’ry day.
I speak to Heav’nly Father.
He hears and answers me
When I pray in faith.
2. I begin by saying “Dear Heavenly Father”;
I thank him for blessings he sends;
Then humbly I ask him for things that I need,
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. [18]
Two areas here often are used for praise in the Church, with a third being used on occasion.
A great deal of praise is often attached to the addressing of Heavenly Father. Such praise will often describe traits of God that we wish to praise. Common words of praise are: kind, merciful, exalted, gracious, and many Latter-day Saints include the phrase from the Lord's prayer "Hallowed be Thy Name." This can be taken to excess, and when that happens it can seem to be "praying for to be seen of men." Thus it is more common in the Church not to prolong this aspect during public prayers (private prayers are another matter) but if one examines temple dedicatory prayers, more lengthy examples are available.
The second area where praise very commonly enters prayer, is when the one praying is giving thanks for blessings. This occurs more in personal prayer than it does in public prayer, but gratitude is a form of praise, and when pondering blessings it is good for a Latter-day Saint to allow the Spirit to move them to praise. But even in public prayer, praise can be manifest in this section of the prayer as God's many blessings are enumerated.
Occasionally praise can enter during the requesting part of prayer as we proclaim the mercies of the God we are requesting a boon from.
In any case, praise is an important part of prayer as a way to draw closer to God. Latter-day Saints in public are, perhaps, a bit less exuberant or extroverted about it than some other Christians. But we are no less grateful to God.
We have a great deal of praise music in the Church. If you look in the back of a hymnal you will find a topical guide and in there you will find a listing for praise. Here in the Church online Library you can find a list of songs from that list from our Hymnal: Songs of Praise.
Songs of Gratitude can also be considered songs of praise and you will find many of the same songs under that topic in the Hymnal: Songs of Gratitude.
In choosing how we spend time as a family, we should be careful not to exhaust our available time on things that are merely good and leave little time for that which is better or best. A friend took his young family on a series of summer vacation trips, including visits to memorable historic sites. At the end of the summer he asked his teenage son which of these good summer activities he enjoyed most. The father learned from the reply, and so did those he told of it. “The thing I liked best this summer,” the boy replied, “was the night you and I laid on the lawn and looked at the stars and talked.” Super family activities may be good for children, but they are not always better than one-on-one time with a loving parent.
Critical sources |
|
Notes
FAIR is a non-profit organization dedicated to providing well-documented answers to criticisms of the doctrine, practice, and history of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
We are a volunteer organization. We invite you to give back.
Donate Now