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FAIR is a non-profit organization dedicated to providing well-documented answers to criticisms of the doctrine, practice, and history of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints views the practice of masturbation to be sinful.[1] The Church's current handbook for leaders (2020; 2021) lists abstaining from masturbation as among the standards of conduct placed on Church members. But it states that "a church membership council is not held for" it. "However, a council may be necessary for intensive and compulsive use of pornography that has caused significant harm to a member’s marriage or family," which usually is accompanied by masturbation. The rulebook for the Church's missionaries (2019) says to "avoid any thought or action that would separate you from the Spirit of God. This includes but is not limited to adultery; fornication; same-sex activity; oral sex; arousing sexual feelings; inappropriate touching; sending or receiving messages, images, or videos that are immoral or sexual in nature; masturbation; and viewing or using pornography (see 7.5.3). See For the Strength of Youth (2011), 'Repentance,' 28–29, for additional information." The youth pamphlet For the Strength of Youth (2011) has said to "not do anything…that arouses sexual feelings" and to "not arouse [sexual] emotions in your own body."[2] The newest edition of the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet (2022) tells us that “[i]n your choices about what you do…avoid anything that purposely arouses lustful emotions in others or yourself.” True to the Faith (2004), a doctrinal reference work written for Church members of all ages and approved by the First Presidency, tells members to “[d]etermine now that you will never do anything outside of marriage to arouse the powerful emotions that must be expressed only in marriage. Do not arouse those emotions in another person’s body or in your own body.”[3] Church leaders have long been clear that masturbation should not be regarded nearly as bad as other sexual practices, but that it is bad enough to require sincere repentance.[4]
Many have wondered why the Church takes this stance. Much of the modern scientific community views the practice as normal in humans of all ages. Many benefits are associated with masturbation such as improved sleep, a better mood (due to the flood of feel-good chemicals released in brain during intercourse and orgasm), a better immune system, a better cardiovascular system, reduced stress, and reduced sexual tension—especially when a partner is not available, whether by their own choice or not, for sexual relations. Certain health professionals recommend masturbating to mitigate tension in relationships where one partner has a higher libido than the other and doesn’t want to demand intercourse of the lower libido partner (or the lower libido partner doesn’t want to accept demands). Masturbation exercises and thereby delivers blood and oxygen to the penile and pelvic floor muscles in men so that they can prevent erectile dysfunction and incontinence as well as improve the duration and quality of erections. It is claimed that masturbation allows men to experience intercourse longer before orgasm. There are a number of health issues that can cause pain (aka “dyspareunia”) for one or both partners during sex. A number of psychological issues can also limit someone from enjoying partnered sex such as trauma. For some of these conditions, there are certain health professionals that recommend masturbation as a form of treatment for the patient or as a release for their partner. Prior to marriage and after engagement, it is sometimes recommended that men and women masturbate in order to explore their bodies and determine what kind of touch they would like during intercourse. There is at least some evidence (though currently inconclusive) that more frequent ejaculation in men can result in reduced risk of prostate cancer.[5] Limited evidence suggests that orgasm might help women relieve pain from menstrual cramps and increase their pain threshold.[6] Orgasm has also been correlated with relief from headaches in some individuals.[7] A 2008 study at Tabriz University of Medical Sciences in Iran found that ejaculation in men can help reduce swollen nasal blood vessels (nasal congestion).[8] Masturbation is seen as having an evolutionary utility in that it flushes out low motility sperm in men so that higher motility sperm will compete to more quickly reach the ovum and fertilize it. According to some evolutionary psychologists, in earlier days of human evolutionary development, men competed for females to mate with. Women would be inseminated multiple times by different partners. Evolution allegedly instilled in men a biologically determined need to masturbate in order to have agile sperm and get offspring before other men. Masturbation also allegedly has an evolutionary utility for women in that it can change the state of the cervix, vagina, and uterus and make chances of conception more likely if climaxing one minute before insemination and 45 minutes after. It can increase acidic content in the cervical mucus as well as move debris out of the cervix to protect against cervical infection. Some have seen a restriction on masturbation as a form of sexual repression, which is seen as negative.
This article will explore, by study and also by faith,[9] why the Church might take the stance that it does on masturbation even given the potential benefits of it. Almost all of these points apply to a discussion about pornography. This article can thus be considered a response outlining the Church’s potential rationale against masturbation as well as pornography.
Both the main body and citations of this article contain information that may be enlightening and helpful to the reader. We strongly encourage reading both.
Before we proceed with the rest of our response, it should be first noted and emphasized that our sexual desires are fundamentally good things, given to us by God to be used for “strengthening emotional and spiritual bonds between husband and wife” and bringing children into this world.[10] As For the Strength of Youth says, "[p]hysical intimacy between husband and wife is beautiful and sacred. It is ordained of God for the creation of children and for the expression of love between husband and wife."[11] Thus, sexual desire in and of itself should not be considered bad. Indeed, it should be celebrated.[12] No one should feel dirty, embarrassed, or shamed for their natural sexual desires.
As Parley P. Pratt once wrote:
Some persons have supposed that our natural affections were the results of a fallen and corrupt nature, and that they are 'carnal, sensual, and devilish,' and therefore ought to be resisted, subdued, or overcome as so many evils which prevent our perfection, or progress in the spiritual life … Such persons have mistaken the source and fountain of happiness altogether.[13]
All this said, since sexual desire has a proper use, it follows that it should be exercised or put to use for that purpose and that boundaries should be in place to guide us towards fulfilling that purpose. It is not a sin to have a sexual desire. It is sinful, however, to exercise that desire in illicit ways as defined by God. It is also sinful to begin to plan to exercise that desire in unrighteous ways.
Another thing to be emphasized is that the person that engages in masturbation is not a bad person. The act is bad. We are not "good people" and "bad people”. We are people that do good things and bad things. It is true that Jesus says that a good tree cannot produce bad fruit and neither a bad tree, good fruit.[14] But, for Jesus, it is not who you are that will determine what you do; it is what you do that will determine who you are. What you do creates proclivities and habits that become parts of you. Undoing one or more of those and becoming a different creature requires deliberate and sometimes ongoing self-restraint and change. This change can happen for everyone and Jesus lovingly invites us with open arms to make that change if those habits are not in line with God's will as outlined in prophetic teaching/revelation.
Jesus' view of identity is similar to that of Parable of the Two Wolves told here:
The scriptures are the law to govern the behavior and beliefs of the whole Church.[15] Citing James 4:17, the Church argues on its website that "sin is to willfully disobey God’s commandments or to fail to act righteously despite a knowledge of the truth".[16] Sin is to disobey the (presumably explicit and scriptural) law of God as defined by 1 John 3:5 and, apparently, 1 John 5:17. It is therefore logical that if we wish to establish something as sinful, that we make our best scriptural case—since scripture contains revealed truths from God—for it actually being such. We will generally examine passages in the order they appear in the canon of scripture. Only those passages that the author believes have relevance to the question of the morality of masturbation will be cited and discussed.
The sexually relational "telos" of men and women. The great Greek philosopher Aristotle considered all things to have a telos or purpose for which they were created/designed. He believed that things (including human beings) flourish when they adhere to their telos. Telic thinking (aka "teleology") became the foundation of Aristotle’s theory of morality (known as “virtue ethics”). According to Aristotle, human excellence consists of adhering to their telos to be virtuous.
The scriptures and other official pronouncements of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have a similar view of human sexuality. They teach that men and women are designed to be united with each other sexually after marriage. Scripture repeatedly affirms that men and women are meant to be united sexually—becoming "one flesh”.[17] Becoming “one flesh” does not merely refer to physically joining the complementary reproductive sexual organs of a man and woman (and more particularly toward the end of procreation and family life: the all-encompassing, instrumental, and intrinsic good of male-female unions),[18] but also to that man and woman becoming psychologically and spiritually unified through their sexual union. Individuals, communities, and nations flourish when men and women adhere strongly to this “telos”. Sex is therefore a relational (rather than isolated) act between married men and women for Latter-day Saints.[19] Any act that takes men and women away from living in accordance with that design (or at least has a high probability of taking them away from it) is going to be viewed as sinful/immoral by the Church.[20] This understanding of men and women's sexually relational telos will pervade much of the rest of our response.
C.S. Lewis wrote:
For me the real evil of masturbation would be that it takes an appetite which, in lawful use, leads the individual out of himself to complete (and correct) his own personality in that of another (and finally in children and even grandchildren) and turns it back; sends the man back into the prison of himself, there to keep a harem of imaginary brides. And this harem, once admitted, works against his ever getting out and really uniting with a real woman. For the harem is always accessible, always subservient, calls for no sacrifices or adjustments, and can be endowed with erotic and psychological attractions which no woman can rival. Among those shadowy brides he is always adored, always the perfect lover; no demand is made on his unselfishness, no mortification ever imposed on his vanity. In the end, they become merely the medium through which he increasingly adores himself…After all, almost the main work of life is to come out of our selves, out of the little dark prison we are all born in. Masturbation is to be avoided as all things are to be avoided which retard this process. The danger is that of coming to love the prison.[21]
One may still wonder why we have this telos and why it is so important to make sexuality relational as much as possible. Latter-day Saints believe that one of the central purposes of marriage is child-bearing and rearing. Doctrine & Covenants 49:17 states that one of the purposes of marriage is to fill the earth "with the measure of man [i.e. the amount of spirit children created by God in the pre-mortal existence ], according to his creation before the world was made." Sex is obviously the action taken by a mother and father in order to produce children. However, it is also the act of a husband and wife. Sex acts as a means of strengthening the emotional and spiritual bonds between husbands and wives so that they can stabilize/fortify their relationship as fathers and mothers and thus attend better to the needs of their children. Sex is the most complete union that any human can achieve with another human. It involves uniting the hearts, spirits, minds, and bodies (the sum total of a person) of a man and a woman into their complementary, reproductive roles so that they can achieve the goals of motherhood and fatherhood as well as the goals of being a husband or wife. Isolated sexual activity, like masturbation and pornography, accomplishes the goal of bonding a person to themselves and hyper-sexualized, dehumanizing, fictive fragments of other people. Relational sexual activity, and especially that between a husband and a wife, accomplishes the goal of uniting a person to another person; another human being.
Whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her. There are two verses that have been used most frequently to justify abstaining from masturbation and they are the 27th and 28th of Matthew 5:
These verses are echoed in 3 Nephi 12:28, Doctrine & Covenants 42:23, and Doctrine & Covenants 63:16.
Jason Staples, an assistant teaching professor in philosophy and religious studies at North Carolina State University, has argued persuasively that Jesus is not condemning sexual desire in and of itself here. Rather, he is condemning planning to exercise that desire in unrighteous ways and "fixing one’s desire upon obtaining something that is not rightfully one’s own." Furthermore, according to Staples, "lust" is better translated as “covet”. So, if you are making plans to engage in unlawful sexual activity (without actually engaging in that activity) with someone while either you or they are still married (or both are married to other people), you are, according to Jesus, committing adultery in your heart.[22] It's the difference between feeling a sexual desire towards another, on the one hand, and saying in one's mind "I should go talk to her/him and flirt with her/him to see if she'll/he’ll be turned on by it enough and come home with me" on the other. This passage, though, doesn't seem to clearly address the question of whether or not masturbation is an appropriate outlet for desire. Is someone who is married making plans to commit adultery by masturbating to the image of someone besides their spouse? Is someone who is not married making plans to commit adultery by masturbating to the image of someone who is married? Dr. Staples says this:
While I don’t think the Bible condemns masturbation (the usual interpretation of the Onan story doesn’t get it right), it also doesn’t seem that masturbation is “one of the proper outlets,” either. Actually, Matthew putting “and if your right hand causes you to stumble” [Matthew 5:30] immediately after this statement about coveting a woman may be seen as an indirect reference to masturbation. It’s not entirely clear, but it’s the closest thing in [the Bible] you’ll find to a statement about masturbation. Given the general outlook on sex in [the Bible], though, I’d say masturbation would not be included among the “proper outlets,” which are limited to heterosexual marital relations whenever discussed.[23]
A few notes regarding this comment by Dr. Staples:
In Hebrew Scripture sex has two primary functions: the production of progeny which lead to salvation, and the creation of the strong ties or oneness which are essential for holding the household and community together. Sex is the physical bonding together of what appears physically different in order to produce life, suggesting that the uniting of opposites is both creative and essential to the divine life process. In Gen.1 God creates by separating what is different into a physical (a child) and psychological unity...There is also casual sex or sex that does not create marital or family bonding and obligation (e.g., Deut. 22:28-29) or that violates existing marital or family bonding and obligation (e.g., vv. 23-24). This kind of sex is considered foolish and shameful, an "inadequacy" or "failure" to live up to internalized, societal goals and ideals because it violates the purpose of sex and therefore does not participate in the divine life process...Sexual intercourse in ancient Israel is intended to be an activity that builds the community first and therein fills the needs of the individual.[26]
A case study from Corinthians. Here's another example that we can point to that gives good evidence that masturbation is not seen as proper. 1 Corinthians 7 opens with Paul talking about the sexual immorality of the Corinthians. He recognizes that cases of sexual immorality had taken place among them. In order to ameliorate this problem of sexual immorality, what does he do? He tells the Corinthians that they should marry and have sexual relations with their spouse. Paul does not encourage self-stimulation. He encourages monogamy and fidelity within marriage (cf. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5).[27] It's not absolutely probative for the notion that masturbation is sinful; but it is highly suggestive.
Masturbation and love of others. Masturbation most often affects the way that you look at others similar to how pornography does—even if only temporarily. When masturbating, one makes use of others or the image of them as the object of their own self-gratification. With repeated masturbation and over time, this can condition you to regularly see others as potential objects of your own pleasure. Especially with porn, pornographic actors and actresses allow others to objectify them. Some may believe that there exists such a thing as “ethical porn”, but such views are mistaken. There will never be a time in which you are viewing pornography and/or masturbating to pornography when you are paying the full currency of emotional commitment in the form of marriage to another human being before getting your sexual release. Full emotional commitment like that given in marriage is the only currency by which you can pay for sexual fulfillment in order to not be objectifying someone. The actors/actresses are facilitating this exploitation. Using others as merely a means to an end and treating them as an object—as well as viewing them as mere objects (even when they facilitate that objectification)—is contrary to the Lord's command to love our neighbor as ourselves.[28] While you’re only using people in your mind, masturbation still requires that someone be an object of your passion instead of a full subject; a full person. It “requires conjuring a pseudo-relational stimulus, replacing a real human being with a fantasized sexual fragment.”[29] You must abandon, even temporarily, the attitudinal aspect of love: seeing the beloved individual as of merely instrumental rather than intrinsic and absolute value. As we know, love is both an attitudinal and an active virtue. Abandoning one or both halves of this is engaging in an inherently unloving act. In this way, it isn’t virtuous. God and Christ, through their prophets, have taught us that thought is the birthplace of virtue.[30] Virtues such as charity must be practiced in our thoughts as well as our actions. Some may wonder why a full bequeathing of emotional commitment in the form of marriage is a necessary condition for ethical intimacy. Elsewhere on our site we have defined love in part as using someone or something according to their/its telos. If our sexual telos is defined as married, man-woman, relational sexuality, then masturbating to pornography or being a pornographic actor that seduces men and women into going against their telos by viewing pornography you create would be definitionally unloving. Sex is, by its nature, the most intimate set of acts we can perform with another. When someone is not committing to your overall well-being and engaging in that activity with you, there's a high likelihood that you'll be convinced that they care about your well-being. But both you and them will recognize, if not married when engaging in that activity, that you are engaging in a mere simulacrum of true intimacy without getting the real thing. Having many of these types of experiences over time of getting simulative intimacy (whether in the form of masturbation, viewing pornography, or other non-marital and casual sexual encounters) is death to your emotional health by a thousand cuts.
Some may believe that you can have masturbation without inner mental fantasy, or masturbation without pornography, or pornography without masturbation; but as Dr. Mark H. Butler—a professor in the school of family life and addiction specialist at Brigham Young University—and Misha D. Crawford—a master’s student in the marriage, family, and human development program at BYU— have observed "[w]e cannot decontextualize or ignore the stimulus–response linkage between sexual soloing and pornographic images, scripting, and fantasizing. Sexual arousal and experience do not exist in some pristine isolation but in an increasingly tightly bound stimulus-response (S–R) equation."[29]
Masturbation and love of self. We've established above that men and women have a sexually relational telos. Jacob 2:21, for instance, tells us that we were created unto the end of keeping God's commandments and glorifying him forever. Doctrine & Covenants 49:15-17 tells us that one of God's commandments, one of his laws, is for us to be married and become "one flesh" as husband and wife. Mosiah 2:41 tells us to consider the happy and prosperous state of those that keep the commandments. Well, Christ also tells us that revealed law is grounded in teaching us how to love God and love one another as ourselves in Matthew 22:34-40. Therefore, any commandment is going to be some instruction in the meaning and proper exercise of love. Learning love helps us take on God’s nature which is the nature of love and also happiness.[31] We've argued elsewhere on the FAIR site that part of the definition of love is to use something according to the purpose it was designed for. Loving ourself would then, arguably, include not masturbating since masturbation is not adhering to your telos of keeping God's command to be one flesh. It would be, definitionally, an unloving act towards yourself. This may be what Paul had in mind when he said that "[e]very sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body."[32]
It will be important to adhere to this telos of becoming one flesh and not only for the fact that not masturbating facilitates greater marital unity with a future or current spouse, but also because masturbating can have a debilitating psychological impact on us. We can start to view ourselves as slaves to our passions and out of control. We will recognize that a force that is threatening to neither our life nor health is overcoming our agency. We will feel like our sexuality isn't an integral part of our personhood that we get to choose when to express and exercise. We will recognize that we are getting this cheap thrill of sexual dopamine and oxytocin without anyone paying the price of emotional commitment to us and really caring for us. We'll recognize that we are engaged in a simulation of intimacy without experiencing real intimacy. This can cause deep feelings of embarrassment, loneliness, anxiety, and depression. Being placed over our desires and mastering them can help us embody a fuller self concept and make us feel like the divine beings we are and meant to become. We can start to feel like an object of passion just as much as we make others the objects of our passion while we masturbate. As the Book of Mormon says, the natural man is an enemy to God and has been since the fall of Adam. The only way to overcome this is by listening to the enticings of the Spirit and putting off the natural man. We can’t engage in recreational, indulgent masturbation and consider ourselves as putting off the natural man. We are indeed distancing ourselves from the Spirit and the joy we feel when close to it.[33]
Masturbation as part of the definition of other words in scripture. The scriptures contain a constellation of words that describe unlawful sexual activity. Among those that are perhaps most relevant to this discussion (including their derivatives) are "adultery",[34] "carnal", "chastity”, "concupiscence”, "fornication”,[35] "lasciviousness”, "lewdness”, "lust”,[36] and "sensual”. An exhaustive scriptural concordance of these words and their derivatives are gathered at this link. Readers are encouraged to read each occurrence in their original scriptural contexts (preferably following this approach articulated in another article on the FAIR wiki). Given that the scriptural outlook on proper sexuality (as discussed above) includes only marital relationships between husband and wife, any sexuality that falls outside of those bounds (including masturbation) is likely being condemned in scripture. Masturbation likely falls under the definition or the penumbras of the definition of all of these words. If it does, then it is condemned in scripture and we are bound to follow those injunctions to abstain from it (seeing as how scripture is the law to govern the behavior and beliefs of the Church established above).
As an example, let’s take "lasciviousness”. Doctrine & Covenants 1:24 states that God gives commandments to his prophets after the manner of their language so that they can come to understanding. The 1828 edition of Webster's Dictionary (which records the definitions of words as they would have been understood by Joseph Smith and thus the intended meaning behind many words in the Book of Mormon, Doctrine & Covenants, and Pearl of Great Price) defines lasciviousness as "[l]ooseness; irregular indulgence of animal desires; wantonness; lustfulness." If masturbation falls under this category of lasciviousness (and it likely does) then masturbation is condemned scripturally.
Other scriptures that may justify refraining. Other scriptural injunctions that may support abstaining from masturbation include being able to bridle your body and passions as taught by Alma and the author of James,[37] being a peculiar people so as to encourage interest in the Church and thus success in missionary work and member retention,[38] to keep unspotted from the world,[39] to abstain from all appearance of evil,[40] practicing meekness/lowliness of heart/humility/easiness to be entreated before the prophets who have implored us to abstain,[41] following the commandment to receive all the words and commandments of the prophet as he receives them as if from the mouth of God in all patience and faith,[42] being anxiously engaged in a good cause without God compelling you to do something by explicit revelation,[43] and ridding ourselves of "inordinate affection" (πάθος "vile passion") as encouraged by the author of Colossians.[44]
A note on likelihood. In the foregoing discussion on scripture and masturbation, we have used the word "likely" a lot in order to establish interpretation. Some may be tempted to think that just because we have used this word, that we don't know for certain and can't know for certain whether masturbation is condemned scripturally. This is not true. Academic disciplines like history and scriptural exegesis are most often not in the business of telling us what is absolutely the case but what is most likely the case. What is most likely the case is taken as what is the case and translated to religious practice. We believe that we have established that masturbation is most likely condemned in scripture.
If nothing else, choosing to masturbate when the prophets have repeatedly implored us to abstain and called it a sin is going against the revealed commandment of being meek and easy to be entreated. Particularly when done if single or married and not directing your thoughts to your spouse, it does not qualify as adhering to your telos and makes you fix your desire on what is not yours as taught by Christ and illustrated by Dr. Staples. Since, as Butler and Crawford observed, you cannot decontextualize stimulus from arousal, there will almost never be a time while masturbating (while single or married and not centering thoughts on your spouse) where you will not be fixing your desire on what is not yours.
Personal revelation justifying practice of masturbation. It’s possible that some feel like they’ve received personal revelation telling them that masturbation is okay; but such revelation, given prophetic teaching and revelation on the subject, is almost certainly coming from false spirits. There are some scenarios that may rightly necessitate the use of personal revelation to determine what is right. We discuss those below.
Masturbation not a part of the Church’s explicit definition of the Law of Chastity? Some have argued that masturbation is not unchaste given that it doesn't fall under the Church's definition of the Law of Chastity. In its handbook for leaders, the Church defines the Law of Chastity as merely (1) abstinence from sexual relations outside of a marriage between a man and a woman according to God’s law, and (2) fidelity within marriage. Given the scriptural outlook on sexuality as we've outlined in the foregoing sections, those that make this argument may want to reconsider their stance. True chastity is correlating your outward expressions of sexuality and romance towards another with your underlying emotional commitment to that person. This correlation is where true happiness and sexual wholeness are found. Masturbation and porn give you all the excitement of sex without the price of emotional commitment to a real human being. They are definitionally unchaste.
An addiction is a behavior you knowingly and compulsively engage in that both causes harm to you and interferes with other objectives you wish to accomplish in life. So, if you masturbate enough that you lose your job because of it or your grades suffer because you're losing too much time with it, or if you lose a healthy relationship with your spouse because of masturbation, and you know that this harm is being inflicted but you engage in the behavior anyway, it is likely that you have an addiction.
While masturbation does appear by most metrics to be harmless when done sparingly, it does have the much-greater-than-merely-possible potential to become addictive or at least compulsive.[45] When turning addictive (or compulsive), masturbation can quickly become a deterrent from having normal sexual relations with a spouse. It can become more pleasurable to the person engaging in it over other relationships. Taking away sexual relations from a spouse can cause deep dissatisfaction and distrust in the relationship—thus potentially leading to the breakup of marriages and families.
Donald L. Hilton, a Latter-day Saint neurosurgeon based in Texas, relates how, during any stimulation of the genitals and orgasm, chemicals such as dopamine, vasopressin, and oxytocin are released in the brain. Oxytocin and vasopressin in particular have been linked to emotional bonding mechanisms in humans and other animals. When oxytocin was selectively blocked in voles, for example, it was observed that they don't mate for life or bond.[46] Hilton cites American counselor Patrick Carnes who says that one stage of recovery from addiction is “grief” where the person “says goodbye” to their addiction. Hilton writes that "[i]t may be a combination of craving for dopamine and yearning for oxytocin-bonded pornography, among other things, that pushes a person to act out and view pornography."[47] Thus, according to Hilton, you can actually develop an emotional attachment to your masturbation/pornography problem. If he's right about this, we'd do well to ask "why don't we do more to keep sexual stimulation within marriage so that we can direct our oxytocin and vasopressin-driven emotional bonding towards our spouse and thus more fully recognize and adhere to our sexually relational ‘telos’?"[48]
The highs that one gets from masturbation and the ensuing addiction that might follow from it can result in escalation of that sexual behavior to include viewing pornography, attending strip clubs, requesting various forms of local prostitution, and even forced sexual advances on the unwilling.
Some will be tempted to immediately apply the slippery slope fallacy to this argument. “Masturbation doesn’t necessarily lead to escalation of sexual behavior.” The author would respond with applying the fallacist’s fallacy. While it is true that masturbation doesn’t necessarily lead to escalation, the argument is that it can lead to escalation; that it has the much-greater-than-merely-possible potential to lead to escalation. To illustrate, let's take a lesson from porn. We're illustrating our point with porn and not masturbation by itself, but porn is almost always connected with masturbation so this example becomes relevant to the author's point.
Over 60 studies have connected porn use with escalation of interests.[49] That is, porn users who have been viewing porn on multiple occasions over time tend to become interested in certain types of porn scenes that they were initially uninterested in or even repulsed by. It all has to do with what is known by medical researchers and other professionals as the Coolidge Effect.
Independent researcher and activist (and, for what it's worth, an atheist) Gary Wilson explains the relationship between porn use, brain chemistry and structure, escalation, and the Coolidge Effect from 0:41-3:16 in the video below. Many people find it hard to believe that porn and masturbation could be addictive enough to a human brain and lead to escalation since sex is supposed to be healthy. But, as Wilson points out, “internet porn is as different from real sex as today's video games are from checkers.” He addresses this assumption thoroughly from 5:16-9:31 in the video below. We strongly recommend readers view both clips from the video:
The same principles very likely apply to masturbation. You have a form of stimulation that is accessible to you any time you want. Following the Coolidge Effect, you can do it in novel ways over time. You can begin to involve pornography and then harder forms of pornography. Once pornography becomes unhelpful in getting the same dopamine hit, you can try out sex with others and escalate that, as mentioned before, to forced sexual advances on the unwilling. Does that claim sound extreme? Let's go further.
Over 110 studies link pornography to sexual offending, sexual aggression, and sexual coercion.[50] Your brain becomes conditioned over time to want harder and harder forms of sex in order to get the same dopamine hit. Following the Coolidge Effect, you're very, very likely to seek it out. For men, they are much more likely to see women as objects and sexually subservient first before escalating. Over 40 studies link porn use to “un-egalitarian attitudes” towards women.[51]
How do you avoid all of this? Go back to 1:12 of the Wilson video and you'll find your answer: find a sexual relationship with a single partner and mate with him/her long term. Your relationship will be naturally more stable. Get married to your partner and avoid porn and other promiscuity outside of the context of relational sex. Over 80 studies link porn use and/or masturbation to less sexual and relationship satisfaction.[52] Your marriage will be more stable and your kids will be more likely to grow up in the context of a stable, low-conflict home. Hopefully one can begin to see our Heavenly Parents' design for sex and why they wanted us to cleave to one another and become "one flesh".
But what about the many benefits of masturbation? Shouldn’t one care about the risk of prostate cancer at least? The problem is that all of the claimed benefits of masturbation can be derived elsewhere and there is no net detriment to one's health while abstaining from masturbation (discussed more below under "Is there something that biologically determines us to masturbate?"). Indeed, in almost every case, masturbation is not even among the top things typically recommended by professionals when wanting to derive these benefits. Thus it's more likely than not that anyone claiming that masturbation is essential or indispensable to our well-being are getting their information from biased, ideologically-motivated, or simply non-credible sources (whether those sources be professional or lay).[53] We can take the potential benefits one by one and see what is recommended to reap them to demonstrate.
All the potential nuances/exceptions to the general prohibition most likely come when fostering or nourishing the relational, tender, committed, married, and man-woman sexuality outlined in scripture and/or as specifically prescribed by a qualified, reputable professional as the only viable treatment for a particular health reason. We should approximate this ideal as much as possible.
But are there benefits for not engaging in masturbation? We've expressed many so far, but it may be helpful to restate them clearly and in one place.
Mark H. Butler and Misha Crawford enumerate the following benefits in their article:
An important thing to note is that any human can derive these benefits from not masturbating. You do not need God to command you to do this. Thus not masturbating does not need to be considered an exclusively religious moral. It can be a secular person’s moral as well as a religious person's. Indeed, one is not and cannot be making a religious argument for a particular kind of moral until they cite scripture, revelation, prophets, etc. One can make an entire case for the law of chastity without citing any of those things. What both the religious and secular person can recognize is that human beings are designed—whether by God, evolution, or maybe God through evolution—in a particular way. Our design is such that we flourish and find our greatest happiness in relational, monogamous sexuality. Our greatest happiness will be found as we all recognize our design and live in accordance with it.
Some people construct an identity around the practice of masturbation. People say that “we’re sexual beings” (which is true) and “masturbation is a part of our natural development.” What these people often mean is that “engaging in masturbation is a behavior that is biologically-determined and thus prohibiting it goes against who and what we are. It serves as a net detriment to our well-being.” We often construct these identities to justify bad behavior and protest against certain standards that go against these identities we construct arbitrarily and artificially around those behaviors. Thus, the imposition of a prohibition on masturbation starts to feel like an assault to our personhood. This is one reason that General Authorities of the Church so often stress that our fundamental identity is that of children of God: if we construct identities around sinful behaviors, we will quickly embroil ourselves in habits that are contrary to the will of God and his nature and feel that any call to repentance is a crusade against us. We can thus squeeze ourselves out of faith and find ourselves in rebellion to the Lord's anointed. If we center our thinking about our essential identity in the fact that we are infinitely beloved, spirit sons or daughters of Heavenly Parents, then we will be much more open to changing our behavior so as to foster closer relationships with them and the rest of their creation. Identity construction is one of our most common forms of denial as human beings. We need be careful in how we construct our identity.
The truth is that we are not merely sexual beings. We are marital beings. Marital beings are sexual beings, but they are not merely sexual beings. We are built with the purpose of being joined maritally and, after marriage, sexually as man and woman; husband and wife. We were designed for a relational, psychologically and spiritually-unified, tender, married man-woman sexuality and we should create our norms to funnel us towards that as stipulated by scripture.
There actually is one biologically-determined function that both men and women experience that serves the purpose people might think masturbation serves: nocturnal emission. We don’t need masturbation to pull double duty.
People sometimes believe that releasing our sexual urge is a human need since, like hunger, sexual desires do not go away with differing values (contrast with something like what political party you vote for which desire is entirely contingent on your values and the arguments you're currently persuaded by), they're about as frequent as the desire for food, they arise sometimes without any obvious stimulus, and they arise whether we want them to arise or not. But none of these facts necessarily entail that "releasing" our sexual urge through porn, masturbation, or other promiscuity is a human need. At most it's just a strong human desire. What perhaps is needed is emotional and spiritual connection, and that can be achieved through a variety of non-sexual (but still meaningful) ways. On the author's view, it's more coherently argued that the sex desire functions as it does because we need to procreate to survive as a species. Again, think about it. A person can live an entirely happy, wholesome, healthy life without sex, masturbation, porn, etc. Not releasing our sex urge isn't threatening to neither our life nor health. There does not seem to be any other persuasive explanation for the function of our sexual desires.
But do isolated sexual acts really hurt anyone else? The foregoing analysis should be sufficient to demonstrate that masturbation can very likely have adverse effects on others. However, another point to make here is that, as humans, we are remarkably bad at creating and being faithful to norms that are based on the delayed consequences of our actions. We are really good at creating and abiding by norms that are based off of the immediate, obvious consequences of our actions. For example, all of us agree that it is wrong to kill an innocent person. Only some of us agree that masturbation is wrong because society consistently tries to condition us to believe in morals that have to do only with the immediate, obvious consequences of our actions on others and many have bought into that logic and framework. We would do well to ponder more about how we can create and more diligently abide by (still important) norms based on delayed, less-obvious, and even unseen consequences of our actions. Doing so may help us understand why The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints holds many of the moral positions it holds. It may help us to strengthen our testimonies of the Church and Gospel.
If you're struggling with masturbation, there is always help and hope for you. You may be trying to quit for the first time or for the 100th time. It does not matter. There is always hope.
The first thing to do will be to disclose your struggles to those you love and trust most. It may also be a good idea to speak with your local ecclesiastical leaders. You should thoroughly discuss the prospect of whether or not you actually have an addiction. Many people unfortunately are diagnosed as having an addiction wrongly and end up spending a lot of money unnecessarily on professional help. If you have trouble diagnosing the problem on your own, it may be helpful to seek professional counsel. There will very likely be many wonderful, qualified professionals in your area that will be eager to help you. These might include marriage and family therapists, sex therapists, and addiction recovery specialists.
The Church provides addiction recovery programs for individuals interested in overcoming addiction. There are also some resources available from Latter-day Saint individuals online that can help with recovery from masturbation/pornography addiction. They can be found through Google. These individuals and others you seek help from may have different beliefs about whether masturbation and pornography addiction exist and/or whether masturbation is sinful. Some have been vocal proponents of the view that masturbation and pornography addiction do not exist. Discretion is advised if seeking for a professional that affirms your view. Regardless, any number of therapeutic modalities may be helpful in eliminating unwanted masturbation and pornography use. Any good recovery specialist is going to help you on addressing limiting core beliefs that keep you from recovery, understanding the brain science behind compulsion/addiction, and setting daily boundaries that help address your core emotional, physical, and spiritual needs as well as take away about 80% of potential relapses. Any good marriage and family and/or sex therapist is going to help you address your problems according to the objectives that you set. So if you go in with the firm and explicit objective of not engaging in recreational, indulgent masturbation, they are obligated by their professional ethics (of allowing individual self-determination) to provide you the best therapies that help you accomplish those goals and are conducive to your ultimate well-being. If they don't help you move towards those objectives, then they are not acting ethically and you should consider seeking other help.
Important to remember that your sexual desires are not shameful things. Read again the section on sexual desires being fundamentally good. One of the things that keeps many addicts or compulsive users of porn and masturbation in their cycle is feeling ashamed of their desires and use. One of the most important lessons we can learn about porn and masturbation is that they are fueled and given power by that shame. When we slip up, we should feel appropriately sorrowful for a bad decision, but we shouldn’t feel fundamentally broken, irredeemable, or evil because of it because we aren’t.
While masturbation is not an avenue of sexual exploration or expression that will be wholly endorsed by the Church, it is still encouraged that parents have open discussions with their children about the beautiful, sacred nature of human sexuality, that everyone read out of the best of books about how to have more fulfilling sexual relationships with their partner (future or current), and that, generally, we make sexuality a topic of open discussion among those that we love and trust most. We often spend too much time in church talking about illicit sexual behavior that we often neglect defining and discussing what healthy, righteous sexuality is and how we can engage in it. That’s not always a bad thing. Talking about all the minutiae of sexuality is most often not going to be tasteful in Sunday School and other public church meetings. That said, among our families and others that we love and trust most, it can and should be much more comfortable. Sexuality is a topic that everyone should become an expert of at the right time so that we can all better understand how to reach and live in accordance with our divine destiny and identity.[76]
There may be those that still doubt the conclusions of this article. Your best testimony of this principle will be gained as you experience the benefits of not masturbating for yourself again. The author echoes the words of Jesus: “If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself.”[77]
It is the author's hope that this article will serve as a source of clarity on the Church's stance on masturbation for those that are confused about it, as a source of hope for those that would like to discontinue masturbation and remain in line with the Church, and as a source of great insight to those that are generally looking to understand the utterly sacred and utterly beautiful nature of human sexuality.
Notes
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