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Watch Your Thoughts

by Autumn Dickson

King Benjamin doesn’t mess around with his sermon. He knows what he came to do, and he does it. He doesn’t mince words. He teaches some pretty essential doctrines with no apologies attached. Let’s talk about one of these no-nonsense doctrines.

Mosiah 4:29-30

29 And finally, I cannot tell you all the things whereby ye may commit sin; for there are divers ways and means, even so many that I cannot number them.

30 But this much I can tell you, that if ye do not watch yourselves, and your thoughts, and your words, and your deeds, and observe the commandments of God, and continue in the faith of what ye have heard concerning the coming of our Lord, even unto the end of your lives, ye must perish. And now, O man, remember, and perish not.

These are some of those verses that used to haunt me back before I knew how much I mattered to the Lord. There are so many ways to sin and if I can’t watch every little thing about myself, I’m going to perish. There is a reason I can sympathize with those who have left the church and felt a “great burden lifted off their shoulders.” It is because of misunderstanding verses like this. It’s not fun to carry that kind of fear and perfectionism around.

And though there is much I could say about sin and its consequences, I actually want to run in a different direction with this verse.

Interpreting a tone

When my daughter first joined gymnastics, her coach was a lady who had escaped the Soviet Union. She spoke in a thick Russian accent, and there was absolutely no coddling. In a society where gentle parenting has taken a really strong foothold, this was a very different approach. She corrected the girls immediately, loudly, and with no remorse. She also demanded respect from them.

Though some parents shied away from this gym for that reason (more power to them, plenty of right ways to parent a child), I chose this gym for that reason. I wanted my daughter to get used to personalities that could be considered abrasive in our culture because I knew there was value there. Evelyn’s coach loved her, and she showed Evelyn that she loved her. She just didn’t show it with smiles and pats on the back. I knew that if Evelyn could learn to internalize the good in an environment that might seem hostile to some, I would be doing her a huge favor.

It would have been easy to internalize this coach’s approach as criticsm and wither underneath it especially when you consider how different it is from other approaches found in America.

So let’s go back to this verse with King Benjamin. It was very easy for me as a child to read that verse and internalize fear as the motivation for living the gospel. If I didn’t watch myself, I was going to perish. I have seen the church (as well as lots of other churches) get torn apart for teaching this kind of doctrine. “We shouldn’t try to scare people into doing what’s right. It’s so damaging to teach a young child or teenager that they need to behave or they’re going to be destroyed.” In all honesty, I have found that this is true. I have watched friends talk about overcoming religious trauma, and I have had to work through unhealthy religious beliefs as well.

Scare tactics aren’t super effective or healthy; THAT is a true principle. In the same breath, I also feel that the critics are missing a couple key points to the story, and it is these very key points that can help us know how to teach the truth about sin while simultaneously helping our children absorb the gospel in the most effective manner.

The whole truth

So what’s the whole truth here? What parts of the story are missing? What are the critics missing?

As I worked through some of my own incorrect, harmful religious beliefs, I remember experiencing the scriptures and conference talks completely differently. As I learned about the atonement, the mercy of Christ, my own divine potential, the freedom afforded me by my Heavenly Father, and His coaching methods, I internalized completely different messages.

When I look back on my experience with King Benjamin’s sermon as a teenager, I remember fixating on my own nothingness and the need to desperately watch my thoughts, words, and actions so I wouldn’t perish. Now when I read his sermon, I find myself saying things like, “Yes! That’s how I feel! I have tasted of His love, and I want to remember it and follow Him.”

There is an aspect of internalization when it comes to the gospel, and that means there is also a subtle layer of personal accountability. I can only imagine how many times my parents and leaders taught me that I was beloved of my Heavenly Father, but it wasn’t until I was an adult that I truly internalized it. My parents did teach the good news of the gospel. I was just a depressed teenager that fixated on the negative.

King Benjamin warned us that sin hurts us, and he rightfully did so. It’s true, and it needs to be taught so we can be protected. But he also taught so, so, so much more than that. Read his sermon. Pay attention to the language about Christ, joy, and freedom. I cannot blame King Benjamin for teaching me to be a perfectionist because he didn’t teach that. Satan did, and I let him because I didn’t recognize him.

Please know that I’m not trying to pass blame around. Maybe we can do better at making sure every child has internalized what it means to a divine Parentage. But maybe there is something else we can teach in addition to this principle that will help our loved ones (and probably ourselves too) take control of what they’re internalizing in terms of the gospel.

Recognizing Satan

A powerful tool in combating the self-loathing and perfectionism that is often associated with religion is to recognize Satan at work.

I believe that one of Satan’s favorite tactics is making the gospel a painful experience. He loves getting into our heads and screaming half truths as we’re trying to learn the doctrine. He’s trying to brush over and numb the parts that teach us who we really are and Who is standing behind us. If he can turn the gospel into a negative thing, the Spirit cannot testify of it. The gospel suddenly seems like the problem because we’re not actually learning the gospel. We’re learning harmful, partial truths, and we feel extremely burdened by it. When we finally shed those harmful, partial truths, it’s no wonder we feel liberated.

I find it interesting that King Benjamin teaches us that we need to watch our thoughts as well as our actions. This could easily be processed as an extreme process to strive for perfection as defined by the world. In relation to what we’ve been talking about, I also believe it’s appropriate to observe our thoughts and try to determine the sources they’re coming from. We watch our thoughts. We look at them. Are they coming from the Spirit? Are they coming from Satan? Are they coming from our own perceived notions and habits? Are our thoughts actually reflecting the gospel or some twisted version of it?

If we don’t take the time to watch our thoughts, trying our best to align them with true gospel principles, we may find that Satan has led us to believe in a false gospel completely based on perfectionism and an incessant need to “do” all the things while neglecting the heart of the matter.

And what did King Benjamin warn would happen if we didn’t watch our thoughts? He warned that we would perish. Living the gospel in the way that Satan wants us to live the gospel is equivalent to perishing. It doesn’t feel like salvation; it feels like hell (which is Satan’s whole point). Satan wants us to perish and be miserable.

We cannot experience a fullness of salvation here on earth. Some of the aspects of salvation will only be unlocked on the other side. However, there is a good amount of salvation that we can experience right now. It includes feelings of peace, confidence in your Savior’s ability to heal and save, and a deep sense of worth. If you’re not experiencing these feelings, maybe ask yourself who you’ve been listening to. Go back and read passages of scriptures, and look at them objectively. What is the actual message being shared and what message have you been internalizing?

Are we teaching our loved ones to watch their thoughts and own what they’re holding onto within their own minds? It’s a powerful teaching to own your beliefs and thwart Satan.

I testify of a Savior who wants to offer salvation now. He never meant for us to carry around the burdens He paid for or the burden of perfectionism. When He teaches us (through King Benjamin) to watch our thoughts or perish, it’s not because He wants to rain down curses on our heads or give us the evil eye for making mistakes; it’s because He knows that Satan wants to subtly destroy us and make us miserable. He’s trying to prevent our unhappiness, not add to our worries.

I testify that He loves you. If you don’t know that, I also testify that He is already doing everything He can possibly do to show you that He loves you. There comes a point where you have to make a choice to trust Him. There comes a point when we will need to choose to internalize that doctrine. There is a measure of personal accountability when it comes to whether we place our faith in that principle. I testify that if you place your faith in Him and His love, you will be happy in the most important sense of the word.

 

Autumn Dickson was born and raised in a small town in Texas. She served a mission in the Indianapolis Indiana mission. She studied elementary education but has found a particular passion in teaching the gospel. Her desire for her content is to inspire people to feel confident, peaceful, and joyful about their relationship with Jesus Christ and to allow that relationship to touch every aspect of their lives.